Heather Saunders Estes

This poem was just published in the Fall edition of Vistas and Byways. This edition has a special section on Music and they choose this poem. Vistas and Byways the literature review by members of the San Francisco State OLLI program. They introduced it this way…

“This frank poem describes how the author overcame inhibition and embarrassment over body image and reclaimed the joy of dancing after a twenty year hiatus.”

Thunder of Blood

My daughter at three, twirled to songs,
loved to jump and shake,
exuberance in her smiles.
She stopped at ten,
self-conscious, awkward.

I used to dance in my teens—
became body-shamed,
too fat, too embarrassed.
Easier to sit it out.
Still, I tapped my foot.

Twenty year later we are wiser.
We dance: contra, swing, hard rock, line.
As CEO I cheerfully started the dancing
at office holiday parties—
shake that booty,
role-model comfort,
then others joined me on the floor.

If I can do it, you can. I am in charge of me.
Your discomfort, your comparing bodies—
I laughingly don’t care anymore.
I am bird song at sunrise,
hail on the roof syncopation,
the moon’s waltz.